"I've been reading your blog, and I never realized this side of you Mel."
"What, did you think I was just some overly hormonal guy?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry."
"Oh don't be sorry. I still am."
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
loving more.
"You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains? I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts" — John Beckwith, Wedding Crashers
I always thought that I had been given a special gift: the ability to love a lot.
That idea never really sounded right in my mind, an ability to love a lot? I couldn't quite figure it out. I came to some realization one day as I had spent time with my dream girl on paper: because I knew that she had a boyfriend, any attraction I could have for her had to be redirected to a platonic love (something made easier through my past experiences with females.) Although at that moment I didn't love her, it had become quite clearer and easier for me to recognize that I could love her as a friend.
That was when I realized that it wasn't that I have an 'ability to love a lot.' The ability has been more along the lines of being able to recognize the abundance of love God has available to all of us and then sharing that love— the gift I had been given has always been the ability to acknowledge and share His love, I just never realized it. However, we are all able to and called to share in this love; as my friend put it, "We all can have a heavenly capacity to love."
I always thought that I had been given a special gift: the ability to love a lot.
That idea never really sounded right in my mind, an ability to love a lot? I couldn't quite figure it out. I came to some realization one day as I had spent time with my dream girl on paper: because I knew that she had a boyfriend, any attraction I could have for her had to be redirected to a platonic love (something made easier through my past experiences with females.) Although at that moment I didn't love her, it had become quite clearer and easier for me to recognize that I could love her as a friend.
That was when I realized that it wasn't that I have an 'ability to love a lot.' The ability has been more along the lines of being able to recognize the abundance of love God has available to all of us and then sharing that love— the gift I had been given has always been the ability to acknowledge and share His love, I just never realized it. However, we are all able to and called to share in this love; as my friend put it, "We all can have a heavenly capacity to love."
Beloved, let us love one another, because love is of God; everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God. Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love.
1 John 4:7-8
1 John 4:7-8
Monday, April 12, 2010
cheesecake factory girl
This past week I had gone out to Cheesecake Factory where my friends and I were being served by this gorgeous waitress (cheesecake factory girl.) I could not help but be drawn to gaze at her beautiful face; it was challenging not to glance at her smile with every presented opportunity.
My reason for posting this entry is that my behaviors during dinner caught me off guard. Lent was over, therefore so was my Lenten Promise: I could have freely pursued the waitress [if she was my type.] My surprising behaviors were my cold interactions with cheesecake factory girl— she was strictly my waitress and I was strictly the customer. I was taken aback by my own demeanor; my personality had changed since Lent had passed.
During Lent
I had given up the pursuit of women; all of my interactions with females were without purpose or agenda. My personality became friendlier and more outgoing in almost all of my interactions with females [including the ones I was attracted too.] I was without fear of being considered a predator (since pursuit was out of the question) which allowed me to be more of myself.
Fast-forward to dinner
Now that Lent was over, despite not pursuing the waitress at cheesecake factory, I did not want to come off as a customer hitting on her and reacted adversely by being cold to her. This bothers me greatly as I felt as if my own personality had been bound: although I did not want to pursue cheesecake factory girl, the possibility of pursuit held me captive from being my general friendly self as I had been during Lent.
This definitely bothers me and is something I would like to figure out and work on; seeking any revelations.
(I think I might have had a revelation as I wrote this, but I'll sit on it and post about it later)
My reason for posting this entry is that my behaviors during dinner caught me off guard. Lent was over, therefore so was my Lenten Promise: I could have freely pursued the waitress [if she was my type.] My surprising behaviors were my cold interactions with cheesecake factory girl— she was strictly my waitress and I was strictly the customer. I was taken aback by my own demeanor; my personality had changed since Lent had passed.
During Lent
I had given up the pursuit of women; all of my interactions with females were without purpose or agenda. My personality became friendlier and more outgoing in almost all of my interactions with females [including the ones I was attracted too.] I was without fear of being considered a predator (since pursuit was out of the question) which allowed me to be more of myself.
Fast-forward to dinner
Now that Lent was over, despite not pursuing the waitress at cheesecake factory, I did not want to come off as a customer hitting on her and reacted adversely by being cold to her. This bothers me greatly as I felt as if my own personality had been bound: although I did not want to pursue cheesecake factory girl, the possibility of pursuit held me captive from being my general friendly self as I had been during Lent.
This definitely bothers me and is something I would like to figure out and work on; seeking any revelations.
(I think I might have had a revelation as I wrote this, but I'll sit on it and post about it later)
Sunday, April 4, 2010
the playbook
I was at dinner with a friend of mine, when I mentioned my Playbook— a collection of plays for me to use for someone I'm dating, my future wife, or just something to let a girl know how special she is to me.
Before your head starts going off on how conniving a playbook may be, read below something that could be in my playbook, but is borrowed from someone else:
melt for you
1 heart shaped tin
1 waterproof note
water
freezer
elegant delivery
flowers (optional)
My buddy was asking a girl to prom and did so in a very eloquent way. He found a heart shaped tin and filled it halfway with water and placed it in the freezer. After the layer of water had frozen over, he placed a laminated note on top of the layer of ice, and filled the rest of the tin with water and placed it in the freezer. The end result was a block of ice with a note set in the middle in the shape of a heart.
He delivered the heart-shaped block of ice and instructed her to melt the ice to read the note. After the heart had melted away, he brought out a bouquet of flowers as she read the note "My heart would melt for you if you went to prom with me."
conclusion
As I was speaking to my friend, I expressed my concern about running out of things in my playbook or that my future wife would no longer be entertained by my antics; she addressed my concern by saying
"When you've met the right girl, you'll never want to stop doing the things you do and she'll never want to stop appreciating it."
Before your head starts going off on how conniving a playbook may be, read below something that could be in my playbook, but is borrowed from someone else:
melt for you
1 heart shaped tin
1 waterproof note
water
freezer
elegant delivery
flowers (optional)
My buddy was asking a girl to prom and did so in a very eloquent way. He found a heart shaped tin and filled it halfway with water and placed it in the freezer. After the layer of water had frozen over, he placed a laminated note on top of the layer of ice, and filled the rest of the tin with water and placed it in the freezer. The end result was a block of ice with a note set in the middle in the shape of a heart.
He delivered the heart-shaped block of ice and instructed her to melt the ice to read the note. After the heart had melted away, he brought out a bouquet of flowers as she read the note "My heart would melt for you if you went to prom with me."
conclusion
As I was speaking to my friend, I expressed my concern about running out of things in my playbook or that my future wife would no longer be entertained by my antics; she addressed my concern by saying
"When you've met the right girl, you'll never want to stop doing the things you do and she'll never want to stop appreciating it."
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