my allegory on exes.

The other day I was speaking with a friend about her recent breakup.  She was asking for my advice, but it was difficult for me to have her understand why she shouldn't go back into that [hurtful] relationship and that she needed to move on.  Like a switch flipping in my on in my head, I came up with an allegory she could possibly relate to (this is probably something you would hear from Sex and the City)

An ex in essence is like a pair of shoes that are uncomfortable but you really like.  You're drawn to them; there is something about them that appeals to you.  You overlook the discomfort while you wear them because you really like them: the design, the style, their cuteness, whatever it is about them that keeps them continuously on your feet.  Eventually your feet hurt as the shoes cause blisters and sores, but they're still your favorite pair of shoes and it's hard to let go.  You even try changing the shoes with inserts or cushions but they're still inherently a bad fit.

One day you're fed up with the shoes and decide that you are no longer going to wear them because of all the pain they have caused-- a gradual build up from the progressive and continuous wear.  You finally realize that everything you liked about the shoes were not worth the trouble.

You eventually move forward, but reminisce about the time spent with the shoes; you only remember all the good places the shoes have taken you, and overlook the forgotten past pains they have caused-- the injuries that are inevitable if you wear them again.  You sometimes even long for the shoes because in the lengthy period you wore them, you found comfort in the uncomfortable. In some cases, you dispose of the shoe, but stumble upon a newer refined version of the same shoe and think to yourself "Oh, it's a new shoe which has definitely changed and I won't have the same issues from my first experience."

The shoe has always been, and still will be a bad fit.

My advice then is to remember the good times you had, but also learn from them; then move on and realize there's a shoe out there with a better fit.  A rainbow sandal perhaps?