I miss that feeling.

Last night I had a dream. I only remember a small part of it and not very many details. I was with a girl whom I was attracted to, and she the same. We were sitting down side by side holding hands when we looked up at each other. We gazed into each others eyes for a brief moment and a subtle smile appeared on our faces. Our heads slowly moved towards each other and we gave each other a small kiss-- a kiss like a married couple would give each other just to let the other person know they loved each other. It was nice.

I miss that feeling. Not of kissing a girl or having a girlfriend as I have had neither in my lifetime, but that feeling of attraction: of getting butterflies in your stomach or feeling your heart race as you catch a glimpse of that special someone.

This makes me wonder
Right now in my life, there is someone that I love dearly (in a completely platonic way) who shares and expresses that love with me. Despite having this wonderful love, I still feel like there's something missing. This makes me question a call to priesthood as I assumed being a priest (and God's gift to women) I would be able to love as many women as I wanted. I do have such a love in my life, yet I still feel like there's a missing piece.

I think as people who discern their calling, we often times pray and ask if we should become priests and sisters; with this feeling I wonder if I'm being called to the married life. Despite being open to becoming a priest, I think I should also begin asking this question in addition: Am I supposed to be married?